“Dipper, haven’t we been through this?” Mabel Pines groaned impatiently as she dusted various knick-knacks in the Mystery Shack.
“What? It’s a fool-proof idea!” Dipper held up a piece of computer paper with his seven step plan written neatly on it.
Mabel glanced at it and sighed. “At least it’s shorter, this time…” she mumbled.
“Aren’t you supposed to be, oh, I dunno, getting over Wendy? Their co-worker Soos pointed out.
“Trust me”, Dipper said brightly. “Once I’m done with this, I’ll be TOTALLY over her.”
He hopped of his stool and handed his plan to Mabel. Mabel read it and gasped when she read the 3rd step.
“What is it, dude?” Soos ambled over and read over her shoulder.
“You’re gonna KISS her?!” Mabel cried out in shock.
“You bet your sweaters I am”, Dipper replied coolly.
Mabel squealed with such excitement that Stan poked his head in the doorway to see what was going on.
“Is something dyin’ in here? You kids aren’t murdering cats, are you?”
Mabel ran over to her great uncle. “Oh, Grunkle Stan, it’s amazing! Dipper’s planning to get smooch with Wendy!”
“I’m not getting ‘smoochy’ it’s just gonna be a quick ki-“
“Dipper? Kiss a girl?” Stan cut him off, disbelieving. “No way. I’ve seen how he is. He can barely talk to females without having a heart attack.”
“Doubt me all you want, Stan,” Dipper responded evenly. He even had the whole scenario plotted out in his head.
Wendy would walk in, reluctant to start another monotonous day at work. Dipper would roll over to her (literally, he’d be in one of those tall rolly stools) and say “Hey Wendy, I have to give you something.”
“What’s up dude? She’d say, looking him in the eye, her interest peaked.
“Close your eyes and hold out your hands,” Dipper would say, wriggling his eyebrows.
Wendy would laugh and say “Okay, Dipper, whatever you say” and use one hand to cover her eyes and hold the other out to receive whatever the 12-year-old had to offer.
Dipper would then commence to lean in and kiss Wendy on the lips. Not too long, not to fiercely, just a sweet, gentle peck. He’d then place the note in her hand, hop off the stool he’d been seated in, and say with swagger no one would ever expect “It’s all part of the plan…” He’d then calmly walk out the room, with everyone watching saying “Smoooooooth….”, and Wendy looking on, impressed with how gutsy, yet chill Dipper was about the whole thing.
Stan stared at his nephew. “Obviously, you’ve lost your mystery-loving mind. Once you find your mind, tell me.” He turned to walk out the room after that, prepping the shack to be opened for business.
Mabel handed the plan back to Dipper, not hiding her uncertainty. “I’m gonna have to back Stan up on this one. This seems a little… far-fetched .”
“Aw, come on, guys. Have some faith!” he looked towards Soos for support, but even he looked doubtful.
“I dunno, dude….” He said hesitantly. “You can barely talk to her without having a heart attack.”
Dipper’s confidence wilted like a dying flower. “Y-you mean you guys don’t believe in me?” Stan, hearing Dipper’s dismay, walked back in and put his hand on his shoulder “Do I believe in that weak, whiny side of you? Not a chance.”
Dipper’s shoulders slumped even more.
“But….” Stan continued. “Do I believe in that kick-butt side of you that took down that rotten Gideon…”
“Battled some zombies!” Mabel added.
“And told Wendy you liked her the first time?” Soos chimed in.
“If that’s the Dipper we’re talking about…” Stan beamed. “Then YES, I believe in you!”
“We believe in you, too!” Mabel and Soos called over to him!
Stan patted Dipper on the back. “Go get her, Dipper! What’s holdin’ ya back?”
As everyone left the room, Dipper looked down and sighed. My mind…. That’s what….
An hour later, Wendy showed up for her shift.
“What up, dorks?” she said coolly.
Mabel tried to hide how big she was smiling. She failed. Miserably . “Hiiiiiiii Wendyyyyy….” Mabel sing-sang. Dipper cringed. So much for low-key….
“Uh…hey?”, She noticed Dipper sitting off to the side awkwardly.
“Hey Dipper!” she waved at him.
“OH! H-hey Wendy!” he replied (rather clumsily). “Hey, um, Wendy?”
“Yeah dude?” She turned to look at him.
Okay, Dipper… you can do this… Dipper climbed up on the tall stool (almost fell) and sat down on it so he could make eye contact.
“I…I have to give you something, Wendy.” Dipper squeezed his hand into a fist, ensuring that the note was still there. It was crucial to the plan. “C-close your eyes”
“Okay,” Wendy bent down a little, covered her eyes with one hand, and held out the other. Dipper broke into a cold sweat.
Oh, man, what have I gotten myself into?
He nervously glanced behind him and noticed Soos, Mabel, and even Stan were watching intently.
He hesitated, then blurted out “Y-you know what? I-I’ll give it to you later!”
He flashed her a nervous smile. Wendy raised an eyebrow, but removed her hand from her eyes and stood straight up.
“Whatever, dude” She smirked as she walked off.
When she was barely out of earshot, the other three who’d been watching Dipper all collectively groaned with disappointment.
“Dipper” Mabel moaned.
“You HAD this! What happened?”
“Y-you guys were freakin’ me out!” He yelped back.
“I could feel you guys’ eyes boring into me!!” Stan wasn’t buying it.
“You got till the end of today to do this” He declared in a hushed but firm tone. “Or else you’re grounded” “Wha- grounded ?! For what?!” “For bein’ a wimp.” Stan muttered. “Now if you’re not gonna follow through, then get back to work” And with that, Stan stalked out the room. Dipper sighed sadly, then grabbed a broom. As he was sweeping, he mumbled “I wish I could just give it to her….” “Give me what?” Dipper shrieked and whirled around. Wendy was standing right behind him, looking at him curiously. “Uh-UH” “GIVE IT TO HERRRRRRRRRRR…..” Mabel whisper-screamed from where she was cleaning off a dusty glass jar. “Do I have to close my eyes for this?” Wendy inquired. “UH-“ She sighed. “Dipper, I don’t have time for this. Stan seems a little peeved, so we can’t he goofing around.” “I-“ Wendy placed a hand on his shoulder and smiled gently. “Hit me up later, kay?” And before poor Dipper could respond, she had stood up and walked away. Dipper could feel himself wilting. His plan… his perfect plan was falling apart. Soos clicked his tongue. Dipper was so distraught that he hadn’t even noticed him lingering in the background. “Dude….” Dipper just sighed and picked up the broom he had sat down. He glanced behind him and saw Stan giving him the evil eye. He turned away, pretending to see. What’s the point? He thought sadly. I think I’d rather take the punishment than go through this. Mabel looked on at her twin bro sadly. He looked so….. gloomy. She realized that her dorky brother would never be able to pull this off on his own. “You stay here Soos and make sure Dipper and Wendy don’t go anywhere.” She whispered. Soos grinned and gave her a thumbs up. “I’ll be back soon.” With that, Mabel ran out the room. “STANNNNNNNN!!!” Mabel ran into the main part of the shack waving her arms around. “Where’s the fire?” He asked sarcastically. “Stan. I need for you to give us a 10 minute break.” “What?!” He stared at Mabel, stunned. “No way!” “Stan, please.” She begged. “Dipper going through with his “plan” is crucial” Stan smirked knowingly. “Ah, so that’s what this is about.” He exhaled heavily. “Alright, fine. But only because I wanna see this. That, and it’s rather slow today….” He gestured to the empty shack. Mabel cheered. “YES!! Thank you Stan!” She hugged him and ran back out the room. Stan chuckled. “Anytime, sweetie. Just make sure this actually happens” Mabel ran back into the room Dipper, Wendy, and Soos were in. Dipper and Soos were sweeping, and Wendy was sitting at the register with her earbuds in. Mabel grabbed her brother by the arm and yanked him over towards a stool. “Whoa- Mabel- What the-“ He accidentally dropped the broom he was holding as she continued to drag her twin along. Soos then scooped Dipper up and sat him on the stool. Readjusting his hat, Dipper yelped “Dude! What’s the deal?!” “Dipper,” Mabel said, placing a hand on his leg. “I want you to know, we’re doin’ this because we love you.” “Wait, what?” “YOU GUYS CAN QUIT WORKIN FOR THE MOMENT” Stan yelled out from the other room. “EVERYONE GETS A TEN MINUTE BREAK!!” At first, Dipper was confused. Then he realized what was going on. “G-guys, I-“ “WENDY!!!!” Mabel screeched. “ WEND-“ Horrified, Dipper clapped his hand over Mabel’s mouth. His horror soon morphed into disgust when he felt his hand becoming wet. “Ugh, did you just lick my hand?” Dipper quickly snatched his hand away and wiped it on his shorts. He looked up, but thankfully, Wendy’s music was too loud for her to hear his big-mouth sister. The other Pines (and Soos), however, was determined for this kiss to go down. Stan walked over to Wendy, tugged out her earbud, and said gruffly “Hey! No earbuds in during shack hours! You can’t hear potential suckers that way!” Wendy rolled her eyes, but removed her headset. As Stan turned his back to her, he gave Mabel and Soos and discreet wink and thumbs up. Dipper had his face in his hands, his face burning. The acknowledgement from Stan was Soos’s and Mabel’s cue. “HEY WENDY!!!!” They both shouted simultaneously. Dipper lifted his head up, dismayed. There was no turning back now… “Are you guys clownin’ me?” Wendy said suspiciously as she strolled over. She spotted the folded-up piece of paper in Dipper’s hand. “Is that that note you were talkin’ about?” She pointed to it. Before he could respond, she plucked it out his hands and began to turn and walk off. Dipper panicked. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go! “Wendy, WAIT!” Before he knew what he was doing, he had Wendy’s face in between his hands. Startled, she stared back at Dipper, wide-eyed. “Uh… Dipper? You’re smushing mah face…” She mumbled. “I-I” He was internally hitting the panic button. “DO IT DIPPER!!” Mabel cried out behind him. And that’s when it happened. He leaned in, and very quickly kissed Wendy on the lips. It was nothing more than a peck, but to him, it felt like heaven. Mabel cheered and high-fived Stan. Stan grinned, proud, and rather impressed. Soos was so stunned, he lost his balance on the broom he was leaning on and fell over. Dipper finally let go of Wendy’s face. She stood straight up and looked down at him. Smiling knowingly, she said “Do you feel better now?” Dipper did nothing. He just sat there with a goofy grin on his face. “Now was that so hard?” she playfully punched him in the arm. Dipper still didn’t respond, still grinning hard. “Um… Dipper?” Mabel strolled over to him. “Bro-bro, you did it! Are you alright?” Dipper started hyperventilating (with joy!) I KISSED A GIRL was all that was running through his head. The big dork was so excited, in fact, that he began tipping backwards in his stool. Wendy was the first to notice that the 12-year-old was wheezing and about to lose consciousness (but still grinning like he’d won the lottery!). “Uh-oh” she swiftly sat Dipper up and held him up in the stool. “Oh, jeez, someone fan him!” she said, still holding him up. “He’s a step away from passing out” Mabel rushed over and fanned him with the author’s journal. Wendy, smirking a little, patted Dipper on the head and said “Well dude, I’m gonna go read your note now. And for someone who’s in a catatonic state, you sure are smiling hard.” Then, Wendy casually shoved her hands back in her pockets and strolled off. Stan patted his still unresponsive (but elated) nephew on the back. “I knew you could do it, kid.” He said, chuckling. Meanwhile, in Dipper’s NOT inept part of his head, he was celebrating. He’d done it. He’d kissed the girl of his dreams. And she didn’t run off screaming! He felt invincible, unstoppable. Nothing could hold Dipper Pines down now.
Epilogue
Wendy went back to her post at the register to read the note Dipper had given her. She was sure he’d calm down… soon… While she may never admit it, she was happy for Dipper. She recalled a past conversation she’d had with Mabel when Dipper hadn’t been in the room. “He hasn’t had his first kiss yet” she had giggled. Jokingly, Wendy had said “I can fix that.” Who knew a few weeks later, she’d unconsciously keep her word?
She fumbled with the intricate folding, and finally had it opened up. She almost fell out her chair with laughter as she read what it said.