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This short story is dedicated to the "hilo hueman" update of Quotev.

If you don't know what that is, here's a quick explanation.

Quotev is just one of those sites where you can write fanfiction and hang out with fellow humans of the same interest as you.

One day, one random and peaceful day, the Quotev HQ decided to change the "Type here" text in the chat box to "hilo hueman"

The entire site reacted immediately, making memes, making fun of the HQ for "updating while drunk"...some even claimed that it was a message from aliens who attempted to say: "hello, humans".

Now why did I decided to write an entire fanfiction based on this phrase but not about the aliens who sent this message?

Well, I just like to write whatever random story that comes to mind with life's most random occurrences.

I hope you enjoy this random piece of fan written literature.


Hilo hueman.

Hilo hueman.


What did it mean? Who was sending this message? Why were they sending this to him?

And why on earth were they spamming him so many times with the same phrase?


Hilo hueman.

Hilo hueman.


Ford was getting tired of the beeping.

Thinking responding to this message may be a way to stop it, he reluctantly tapped:


We got your message. Can we help you? Do you understand English?


But that seemed to just encourage these Arctic Ocean Spammers.

Hilo hueman.

Hilo hueman.


The same message kept coming, over and over and over.


“ARRGGGHHHH!” Ford threw the headset across the room and ruffled his hair in frustration.

He put his head on the table and sighed deeply.


Right at that moment, his twin decided to loudly barge into the room.

“Hey, Eggheads gotta eat too, ya know!?” Stan dropped a plate of breakfast next to his head.


“Not now Stanley.” Ford grumbled, lifting his head off of the table and checking to see if the messenger either stopped contacting them or said something else.


“What. In the name of Paul Bunyan. Is that.” Stan asked.


Ford sighed. “I wish I knew. Its either some kind of code, some language I somehow don’t know of….”


Stan stole a strip of bacon from his plate. “Well...you’re smart. If it’s a code, break it already”


Ford sighed. “That’s just it. I put it through every code deciphering method I know of, but-”


“Then it’s either the meaning of life or a message from aliens” Stan replied bluntly. “Bacon?”


“I have no time for bacon, Stanley!”


“You take that back, you unsophisticated bacon unbeliever!”


“Stanley for the love of Madison-”


“EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE TIME FOR BACON!”


The twins fell silent as the Arctic Ocean spammer suddenly started tapping a new message.


Hi, this is Mabel!

I passed this message on to some...friends….at sea right now.

Were you scared?

Also: Happy April Fools Day!

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